darklulu's commandment of the day:never underestimate the munchkin that is when they bite you.

darklulu's quote of the day:"I'm not crazy the rest of you are",Me

darklulu's joke of the day

Things to do with your AOL Disks.

At a restaurant, shove one under a wobbling table leg. Christmas ornaments (the more the merrier). Give them to young children play with. Room dividers for hamsters. Drink coasters. Ice scraper. Bathroom tile. Air hockey puck. Dog chew toy. Pooper scooper. Grill scraper. Destroy them - smash, burn, or run over to relieve stress. Light switch cover. Chinese throwing stars. Halloween treat. Firewood. Paper weights. Incense burners (put stick in hole of disk hub and light the incense). Put them on car windshields at the mall. Hand them out as party favors. House insulation. Grind them up to make fake snow. Hood ornament. Give them as stocking stuffers. Use them as elbow and knee pads. Use them to decorate your aquarium and create Comp USA underwater. Baby mobile. Fence (may need a few thousand).

just highlight it

darklulu's pic of the day:

darklulu's commandment of the day:thou shalt not dissect heart or kill people before lunch.It makes thou lose their appetite

darklulu's quote of the day:"What is mind don't matter what is matter never mind"Homer Simpson

darklulu's joke of the day:

Hilarious Quotes XI
Hilarious Newspaper Headlines
(the best of 1999)

1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say

3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case

5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

6. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

8. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

9. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

10. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead

11. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

12. Miners Refuse to Work After Death

13. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

14. Stolen Painting Found by Tree

15. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

16. War Dims Hope for Peace

17. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

18. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

19. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

21. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space

22. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

23. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

24. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

darklulu's pic of the day:

back by unpopular demand!!!PS I have a job for the summer!!!!!!!!!

darklulu's commandment of the day:Scientists say we share 98% of our DNA with chimps.If you suspsect someone of sharing more give them a stick and banana see what they do.

darklulu's quote of the day:

Darklulu's joke of the day:

darklulu's commandment of the day:You can choose to live a lie and be miserable becuase you wish people knew the truth or you can live the truth and be miserable becuase you wish you hadn';t told them the truth.Either way don't complain.

darklulu's quote of the day:"Homer Simpson wrecks my pig Cypress Hill steals my orchestra and sonic youth is in my coller get out of there you kids",Peter Frampton Homerpalooza,the Simpsons

darklulu's joke of the day:What do you get when you cross a shit tzu with a bull dog?

A Bullshit!!!!!!!

Darklulu's pic of the day

darklulu's commandment of the day:If you give a boy a closed mouth kiss he'll want some tongue.If you give a boy some tongue he'll probably want to....the kist goes on and on.Ladies keep you legs closed.

darklu's quotes of the day:"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
Rodney Dangerfield. 

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
Ellen DeGeners. 

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
George Carlin. 

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
Paul Merton. 

"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that."
Steve Martin. 

"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own."
Les Dawson. 

"The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney..."
Steven Wright.

"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."
George Burns. 

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
Marty Feldman.

"If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it."
W.C.Fields

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Robin Williams. 

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
Steven Wright. 

"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
Johnny Carson.

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "
Charlie Brown.

"I've often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress."
George Bush

"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."
David Letterman.

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde

"Arrogant and right is surely better than humble and wrong."
Geoff Arbuthnot

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
Jim Carrey. 

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
Emo Philips. 

"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
Dick Cavett.

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
Dave Edison.
 
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
Sue Murphy. 

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
Jerry Seinfeld. 

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
Spike Milligan. 

"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
Steven Wright.

"A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." 
Woody Allen

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
Mel Brooks. 

"I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet."
Henry Youngman. 

"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
Emo Philips. 

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
Steven Wright. 

"I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb."
Freddie Starr.

"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven."
Spike Milligan. 

"My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden."
Eric Morecambe.
 
"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest."
Rowan Atkinson. 

"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ."
Woody Allen

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
Groucho Marx

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
Tommy Cooper

"Security puts a premium on feebleness."
H.G. Wells

"I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less."
Eddie Izzard

"I have nothing to declare except my genuis."
Oscar Wilde

darklulu's joke of the day:The GOP National Committee announced today that it was changing the Republican emblem from an elephant to a condom. The Committee stated that it feels a condom more clearly reflects the party’s true political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives one a sense of security and safety while screwing others.

darklulu's pic of the day:

woohoo there is blitzball in ffx-2 and Yuna plays so does Rikku!!!!!!!!